Short Funny Jokes

Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "

Q: What do you do when your wife's staggering?
A: Shoot her again.

Q: What is the difference between and Virgin and a washing machine?
A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it!

Mickey goes to the judge after speaking to him before about getting a divorce with Minney. The judge says "I'm sorry Mickey but I couldn't find grounds for divorce for being insane. Mickey looks stunned and says "I didn't say she was insane I said she was fuc**** Goofy

Q: What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs?
A: A clit round the ear and a flap across the face

Bungee jumping is like getting a blowjob off your granny, It feels great but for christs sake don't look down.

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