* I'd rather be called 'Sleazy' than to be identified as intelligent.
-- Phil Donahue
* Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!
-- Ricky Gervais
* We’ve all met people who are supposedly incredibly intelligent but don’t know which way to sit on a lavatory.
-- Stephen Fry
* I may not know much, but I know the difference between chicken shit and chicken salad.
-- Lyndon B Johnson
* I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
-- Elayne Boosler
* He had a mind so fine that no idea could violate it.
-- T. S. Eliot (on Henry James)
* Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.
-- John Alexander Thom
* Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
-- Mark Twain
* An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
-- Edgar Wallace
* Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
-- Unknown
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